


Playing Pretend

by Athetos



Series: Glimmadora Week 2020 [2]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Glimmadora Week 2020 2.0, Soulmate AU, brief mentions of bow/jewelstar and seamista and spinnetossa, but nothing beyond what is shown to us in canon, mentions of abusive relationship / scars, with a twist because i can only write soulmate aus if they're sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25937569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Athetos/pseuds/Athetos
Summary: On the day of your 18th birthday, your soulmate's name appears on your wrist.  Glimmer has been waiting for this day for her entire young life, but there's just one problem... She doesn't have a soulmate.  Is that even possible?Meanwhile, Adora does have a soulmate, but would give anything to trade her for someone else.Soulmate AU; for Day 2 of Glimmadora Week 2020.
Relationships: Adora/Glimmer (She-Ra), Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra)
Series: Glimmadora Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880938
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	Playing Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the angst prompt for day 2 of Glimmadora Week 2020!! I hope you enjoy; I probably won't have a fic written for tomorrow's prompt on time, so this will have to double make up for it.

Glimmer’s eighteenth birthday was supposed to be the best day of her life.

It’s the best day in _anyone’s_ life. It’s the day when your soulmate’s name appears on your wrist, in their own handwriting. Sometimes in thick, blocky letters; other times in near illegible cursive that took weeks to discern; on occasion in a foreign language, leading to a frenzied afternoon at the library poring over bilingual dictionaries. Sometimes it was the name of someone you knew, someone you already loved, someone you hated; sometimes it was someone you had yet to meet, had yet to experience.

But, no matter what, you finally had their _name._ It was proof for the heartbroken that they weren’t going to be lonely forever. It was evidence for the dejected that they were someone else’s destiny. It was confirmation for the unbelieving that they were worthy of love and affection.

Glimmer was heartbroken, dejected, _and_ unbelieving. She needed this. This name would change her life, no matter who it was. It didn’t matter if they didn’t meet until they were old and gray, or that it was someone she had never before given the time of day. Fate would be on her side. Things would be okay. She would be okay.

The morning of her eighteenth birthday, Glimmer buried her face in her pillow, keeping her eyes tightly shut. She had been waiting for this day her entire life, but she was so excited she was nervous to look. What if, somehow, the name written on her wrist disappointed her? What if her soulmate’s name was something stupid, like “karen” or “jeff”? What if it was - 

No. Don’t think about that right now. Deep breath. She could do this.

Rolling over, she lifted her left arm over her face, opened her eyes, and - 

Nothing. 

Not a reason to be alarmed. The name was clearly just written on her other arm. So she raised her right, and - 

Still nothing.

No. That wasn’t right. That was impossible. Actually impossible. _Everyone_ had a soulmate. _Everyone_ had another half. Frantically, she sat up and examined her arms closely, desperately looking for _something._ Maybe it was written very faintly? Or was super tiny? What if she needed a microscope to read it? What if it was only visible under ultraviolet light? Invisible ink? 

She teleported to Bow’s room, appearing at the end of his bed in a splash of sparkles. The boy was still sleeping, gently snoring, his pajama shirt riding up to expose his midriff. Typical. 

“Bow! Wake up!”

He jolted awake, yelling incoherently. Pausing, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, before noticing the pastel princess in front of him. Just like that, the surprise and irritation he was feeling dissipated as a huge smile took up most of his face, his dark eyes glittering with anticipation. 

“Glimmer!” he shouted. “Happy birthday!” He practically threw himself at his best friend, wrapping her in a tight hug, rubbing her back gently. Glimmer smiled; Bow always managed to make her feel better, even when she was being consumed with anxiety. “I got you a present, I’ll grab it in a - wait! You’re eighteen!” He pulled back, making eye contact with Glimmer. “Your name… is it??”

“It’s not there!” She wailed, flinging herself at Bow again, her arms encircling his neck. “I don’t have one!”

“Wait, what?!” Bow gasped. “That’s impossible! Let me see!”

Moving to sit beside him, Glimmer held both of her wrists out, presenting the unmarred flesh. Wordlessly, Bow ran his fingers along her soft skin, frowning. 

“Glimmer, we need to talk to your mom.”

The two teens teleported to the throne room, Glimmer knowing full well that her mom was already awake and attending to her royal duties. Sure enough, Angella was standing before the throne, talking to a handful of embarrassed-looking guards. When the queen heard the chime of her daughter’s magic, she abruptly ended her conversation with her flustered audience, and approached the duo with her arms spread wide. 

“Happy birthday, angel!” Angella beamed. “It’s the big day! What - “

“Nothing! There’s nothing, mom!” Ignoring her mom’s expectation of a hug, she once again held her arms out, revealing the shame of not having a name. 

Angella froze, her transparent wings fluffing out in shock. Stepping closer, she gently took Glimmer’s wrists, carefully turning them this way and that in a search for _something_ that made sense. 

She didn’t find anything.

Gathering her daughter into a much-needed hug, she enfolded them into a soft iridescent cocoon made from her wings, resting her chin on her daughter’s pink hair. “I’m so sorry, Glimmer,” she said quietly, each word burdened with a sorrow that Glimmer couldn’t even begin to fathom.

It was then, and only then, that the princess without a soulmate allowed herself to cry.

\---

It had been three years since then, and while some days were better than others, things were never easy. Even when Glimmer pretended it didn’t matter that she would die alone, or reassured herself that her _real_ soulmates were all the friends she had, it was impossible to avoid seeing the names of soulmates written on everyone else’s arms. Bow had the ever mysterious cursive of “Jewelstar”, Adora had the scratchy signature of “Catra”, Angella still had “Micah” written in bold, capital letters. She was constantly reminded of her fate, or lack thereof. Every time she saw Mermista and Seahawk kiss, or Spinnerella and Netossa hold hands, a black hole of emptiness opened itself inside her chest, threatening to suck in everything that she had worked so hard to build.

But… at least one other person was as furious with fate as she was, whether she was aware of it or not.

One night, one tear-filled, sleepless night, Adora woke up to her sobbing. The ex-Horde soldier was still having trouble adjusting to life in Bright Moon, and had a tendency to curl up at the end of Glimmer’s bed. She secretly enjoyed her friend’s company; she could be a bit awkward, but she was endearing, and wonderfully sweet, and only had the best of intentions. It just made… Glimmer’s sporadic nighttime crying harder, was all. The last thing she wanted was to worry the kind warrior. So the shame she felt when she heard Adora shuffle closer to her, whispering her name, was almost overwhelming.

“Glim? Are you okay?”

Sniffling, Glimmer rolled away from her friend, curling up into as tight a ball as possible. “No, but it’s okay. Go back to sleep, ‘Dora.”

Adora ignored her. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“No, it’s just…” She broke off, taking a deep breath. “I don’t… have a soulmate.”

“Oh.” Adora didn’t say anything else, but she moved closer, laying down behind Glimmer, pressing her chest against her back. Glimmer could feel her heartbeat reverberating along her spine, the steady pulse slowly grounding her, anchoring her to reality. She pressed closer to Adora, enjoying her warmth and security. 

After several long moments, when she had finally stopped crying, Adora spoke up again. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know, I just… I guess I never questioned why you didn’t have a name.”

Glimmer wiped the last few tears from her face, shaking her head. “No, it’s okay, Adora. It’s… rare. I think I might be the only one, actually.” She tried to laugh, but it came out all wrong.

“Well, if it means anything to you,” Adora said, “I think anyone would be lucky to be your soulmate. You’re perfect, Glim.”

A blush blossomed on Glimmer’s face, her heart stuttering. “Adora, you don’t have to say things you don’t mean.”

“No! I mean it!” Adora exclaimed, resting on one elbow to hover slightly over the princess. “You’re beautiful, and smart, and courageous, and kind, and loving, and when you smile, it’s like watching flowers bloom! You deserve love more than anyone else, Glimmer.”

Glimmer’s face was hotter than the sun, her cheeks scorching. “Adora… I love you.” Rolling over, she snuggled closer to her friend, pressing her face into her chest. “Thank you, but… that’s not true. _You_ deserve love more than anyone else.”

Adora smiled, but it wasn’t a happy one. “Maybe.”

They didn’t say much else after that, just buried themselves in the other, lulled to sleep by their synchronized breathing and soft embrace. Glimmer’s last thoughts before she fell under, were _I can’t be in love. I’m not allowed to be in love. Especially not with Adora._

\---

Months passed, and Glimmer was still in love. How could she possibly fall out of love with someone as charming and beautiful as Adora? It was wrong, it was impossible, but it was true. But if there was one thing that broke her heart more than her own romantic yearning, it was that Adora was being met with a fate just as bad as her own.

Catra.

The name tasted bitter on her tongue. Catra and Adora were soulmates. So why did Catra continue to hurt Adora so? Glimmer had spent many evenings tending to Adora’s wounds, wincing at the shredded skin, the twisting scars, all left behind by the one person who was supposed to love her more than anyone else. It made her feel sick. She loved Adora with her entire heart, but instead, her soulmate was a brutal enemy on the other side of a battlefield. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t _fair._

If only she could kiss her healing wounds better, replacing the hurt and devastation there with love and comfort.

If only.

\---

It was late. She should be sleeping, but she was sitting on the castle terrace instead, soaking up the moonlight. Her legs dangled over the edge of the roof, but it didn’t phase her; if she did fall, she could easily teleport to safety, after all. She found herself staring at the inky night sky, imagining constellations in the nothingness. She wondered what the stars looked like. Would they really be as bright as the stories made them out to be? She hoped so. She wanted to believe.

“Hey.”

It was Adora. Of course it was Adora. She always knew where to find her, no matter where she was hiding. She hummed in acknowledgement, swinging her legs back and forth, not bothering to look behind her.

The taller woman joined her, sitting close enough for their shoulders to touch. She pulled her hair out of her ponytail, the dirty blonde turning to spun gold in the moonlight. She always managed to take Glimmer’s breath away, no matter what she did. All she had to do was exist.

“Can’t sleep, either?” Adora asked.

“No, not really,” Glimmer sighed. “How are you feeling? I know you got pretty beat up after the last battle…”

“I feel like shit,” Adora stated bluntly. “But I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse.”

Silence. Then - 

“Is it weird if I wished I didn’t have a soulmate, either?” Adora’s words hung heavy in the air.

Glimmer chewed her lip in thought, thinking her words through. “No, I don’t think so, considering…” She trailed off, not wanting to bring up Catra before Adora did.

“Yeah,” Adora answered. “Yeah, I just… I loved her. Part of me still does, but… how can things ever be normal after this? Even if she changes completely as a person, can I really be okay being devoted to someone who hurt me so badly?” 

Glimmer shivered. “I don’t know. I just don’t want you to hurt.”

“I don’t want you to hurt, either.” Adora’s hand reached over to grab Glimmer’s, entwining their fingers. The contact set off fireworks in Glimmer’s mind, even though she knew that the two of them were far beyond hope.

“Glim, if you could pick anyone to be your soulmate, who would it be?” She said it lightly, but it did nothing to disguise the weight of the words.

Glimmer flushed, unconsciously squeezing Adora’s hand tighter. “I… I don’t know, Adora, that’s a pretty big question to ask…”

“Yeah, you’re right, I’m sorry,” Adora apologized awkwardly. 

The two turned their eyes to the starless sky once more, making shapes out of nebulas and tracing the slow arcs of the moons overhead. The gentle hum of wildlife rose from the forest below them, crickets chirping, branches breaking, wolves howling. In the grand scheme of things, their lives meant nothing. The moons and trees and the planet didn’t care who they ended up with, or if they were happy, or if their lives were worth living. None of it mattered to them. Especially not something as ridiculous as a name scrawled on someone’s skin.

Maybe it shouldn’t matter to her, either. 

“You,” Glimmer whispered. “I’d pick you, Adora.” She turned to face her friend, preparing herself for Adora’s expression of disgust or discomfort.

Instead, she was met with Adora’s small, hopeful, trembling smile. “I’d… I’d choose you too, Glimmer. I wish it was your name written on my arm. It’s… It’s not fair, is it?”

Glimmer’s heart was near-bursting, tears falling from her eyes. She had never imagined this, not even in her wildest dreams. Shaking, she placed a hand on Adora’s cheek, her thumb brushing her lips. “I love you, Adora. I’m tired of pretending I don’t.”

“Me too.” Now it was Adora’s turn to cry. “I love you, Glimmer. I can’t imagine not loving you. You’re my everything.” She swallowed thickly, her eyes trained on Glimmer’s mouth. “Can… Can I kiss you, Glim? Just once?”

Glimmer answered her by pressing her lips against the warrior’s. Glimmer had never kissed anyone before. She had no idea it could feel this _good._ How could something so wrong feel so right? Adora deepened the kiss, pressing them closer together, her hands falling to Glimmer’s waist, while Glimmer tugged at Adora’s hair with her own, melting into the other woman with a deep sigh.

Maybe it was wrong. But for just this one night, they could pretend they belonged to each other.


End file.
